This is a very interesting book recommended by the VP of the company I was working for. The bottom line message of the book is that all conflicts are caused by our heart being at war not in peace. This state of war leads us to treating the people we interact with as objects and not as people. We do this mainly for justifying an action which we know is not in line with our values. This provokes a response from the “object” which confirms the characteristics of the "object" we have defined. Thus we spiral down into a state of complete war with that person.  Told in the context of a camp program run by a Jew and an Arab, it weaves the Palestinian and Israel conflict stories to make the points.
 
The concepts hold well even when you apply it your own personnel life. How many times do we find ourselves treating people badly because they remind us of our weakness (Personal, Professional, Moral or Ethical)? The manager who tries to improve us by pointing to our weakness is “bossy wanting to destroy your career”. Very quickly your poor performance and mistakes are caused by the boss. By now the boss has started seeing you as an object “Poor worker with a bad attitude” and his response change to justify to himself that he is not a bad boss but has an unmanageable worker. So the whole interaction dives to a new low of blaming each other. Finally when you get fired or you resign, you carry the war in your mind, setting yourself for failure in the next job. By this time, every boss is present only to make your life miserable!  The moment we look at the boss as a person with their own worries and limitations. Trying the best to work out the situation, we respond differently and make a difference not only to you (improve) but also to the relationship (Strengthening professional)
 
The reasons for justifications to see others as objects include:
- Must be seen as (others must think well of me)
- Better than (I am much better than others)
- I deserve ( I am a victim)
- Worse than (I am bad but was made to be bad)
 
Once you get you heart in peace, you treat people as people and make our response based on the person we are dealing with, we find ourselves more at peace as well as better relationship with the other person.
 
Read it. Try it. Make a difference to your life
 
May your heart be at peace! 

 
Favorite lines:
“When our hearts are at war, we not only invite failure, we invest in it”

“Collusion: A conflict where the parties are inviting the very things they are fighting against” 

“I begin to see Mordechai in ways that justify my self-betrayal. He becomes an object of blame”

“My feelings about Mordechai were not caused by something others had done to me but by something I was doing to Mordechai” 

“When I see others as people, on the other hand, then I free myself from the need to focus on the worst that has been done to me. I am free to leave the worst behind me and to see not only the bad but the mixed and good in others as well”

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The concepts of making and holding money is a must read for everybody 

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The title of the book intrigued me "Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers". Being a Hindu by religion and Indian by Nationality, I have endured a number of inquisitive queries  around Sacred cows (Do they really wander around the highways in all cities? Are they the main reason behind the traffic snarls in cities?).
 
A quick drive to the library and 5 days later  I was pleasantly surprised by the thoughts discussed in the book. The clever use of title was the tip of the iceberg for an authoritative book on how organization need to handle change. In over 18 years of my consulting experience, I personally have seen or observed some of the situations in the book and I now personally believe that these concepts can be applies not only to organizations but to individuals also.

Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers : Developing Change-Ready People and Organizations
Robert Kriegel with David Brandt
 The overall concept addressed in the book is simple. Every organization has its own set of sacred cows - Process, Systems, People- who are considered too sacred to question or challenge. They go about on their own misguided agenda creating chaos and waste as did the cows in some of the smaller towns in India. Nobody wanted to move the cows and organization do not want to disturb the status quo. The authors advocate a process for identifying these Sacred cows in organization and some tips on how best they can be removed to improve the efficiency and effectiveness of the organization.
People are the the gatekeepers of change. They resist change because it is uncomfortable unpredictable and hence unsafe.  To avoid getting out of their comfort zone,  they slowly become the sacred cows themselves or the guardians of other Sacred Cows. The authors suggest a 5 step process to help organizations deal with this issue - Starting with Rounding up the Sacred Cows, Developing a change ready environment, Turning resistance to readiness, Motivating People to change and finally developing seven personal change ready traits. 
There are a number of Sacred Cows the authors have found dwelling in these organizations. Here are my favorite ones. 
The Paper Cow : Remember the multiple copies of forms we fill for no obvious reasons?
The Meeting Cows : Long recurring meetings which no one remembers the objective or the agenda? 
Speed Cow: The superstar in the office who does things so fast that you get dizzy watching him and angry when you later fix the errors he has created ? The authors introduce an interesting phrase : A passionate 90% effort is more effective than a panicked 110%. This is so true in some of the organizations where I see lot of things get done but without any though quality or value
Expert Cow: This one is on the top of my list. The "guru" who has answers to all questions even those which have not yet been asked? The authors have an answer to this - Be Smart, Ask stupid questions. 
Techno Cow: This applies to me to a T few years back. Enjoying technology for the coolness factor and forgetting that the solution is not a means to stoke my ego but to meet the needs of a business user. The authors take - High Tech needs high touch !
Team Cow: The premise in some organizations that to get things done , throw a group of people in a room and keep your fingers crossed that they will come up with a solution. 
 
Once you have identified these cows wandering in the corridors of the organization, it requires a hunting season where employees are asked to hunt and replace these cows. 

For building a change ready environment you cannot plant seeds on a hard ground


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The book "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi was recommended by one of my colleagues and I thought it made sense for me to read it considering the fact that I prefer to eat alone most days ! I was feeling the pressures of the real world and was ready to get some creative tips on getting out of my shell and networking the world. Being a technophile, I had all the tools of the trade, just needed the tips and technique. So I thought ....

Few Clicks and 48 hours later, I had the book in my hands !
Overall, I think the book has lot of good advice, spiced up with personal anecdotes from Keith's life. His track record clearly illustrates that his tips work! If you are the type of person whose role and ambition needs an excellent networking style, this book is essential reading for you. Note to all Managing Directors and Business Development Managers- grab your copies today. It gives great practical tips for enhancing your performance and meeting those quotas thrust on us from up above. 

But if you are like me, mainly focused on delivery solutions sold
by the above mentioned networking gurus, but needing good networking skills to remain in the race, some of the tips are way up there. It made me realize the price in terms of time and effort it goes into building a productive network.

Overall, I think it is a book worth reading and if you have the time and interest, I would suggest that you get a copy and read it during the next flight to your consulting engagement
For you folks who are too lazy or who need some incentive to read this book, here are some of my key learning (Remember I ignore all those esoteric tips). Let me know if it makes sense. If it does, you may want to actually read the whole book not this condensed list
You need to belong to the right group to move forward in your career. Who you know matters in addition to who you are ! So network to make sure you get entry into this exclusive club
Like my father used to advice me, you need to give to receive. Keith endorses this big time when you think of networking. The key consideration - Generosity. While building the network do not think of what you can get, but focus on what you can give so as to strengthen the relationship. Networking is not an accounting book with credits and debits for each relationship. 
Create a personal "Board of Advisors". This group of your personal mentors can guide you to make the right decisions and act as god fathers to help you reach the right person at the right time. Mentors are a huge plus in your career.

• You need to build a network before you need it. Think strategic in addition to being tactical. You may want to penetrate the account and hence network to build the right relationships. But you may also want to network in case you need the help some time in the distant future. So build and it will be of use to you.
• The "powerful" sales person who advices to distribute your cards to as many people as possible, it mostly going to remain just that - an average sales man ! Networking is not measure by the number of cards you have or the contacts in your outlook !
• Do your home work. Whether it is the cold call or the first meeting. Tools like the LinkedIn, Google help you understand the client better. In fact, Keith had one of his staff prepare a one page write up of each of the contacts he was going to meet.
• Never eat alone- Keith's exaggerated (attention grabbing) way of stating that every time you eat, it is an opportunity to build a relationship with somebody. Just consider the 20 lunches in a month. Throw in 20 breakfast you have some thing going. And if you are a glutton for this kind of stuff, invite somebody for the dinner. Bottom line- You eat alone, you loose !
• Share your passions - The best way to relate to a person is to share your passions - Golf or technology or whatever makes you get high. Another interesting point also was his statement that you should share your vulnerabilities also to build a true relationship. People are more comfortable with a 3D person with weakness as compared to a 2D "perfect" person.
• Follow up or fail - Straight enough. Return the email or the voice message as soon as possible. If you promise to do something, do it !
• Importance of heath, wealth and children - According to Keith, these are the things important to most folks and hence topic of discussion or a foundation for relationship
  Pinging all the time (Wishing on birthdays is better) - I personal try to wish people on their birthdays. Also, I am planning to send stuff to people which could remind them of me (articles, web sites etc)
• Be a person of content - Have a unique point of view - This is very interesting and I need to work on it. If anybody has some suggestions, Please send it along
• Build your brand  - Obvious
  

Keith also talks about the spiritual side of life (including Vipasana - an Indian meditation regime where you spend 10 days in silence contemplating yourself). But again, those are areas where I am not very keen on right now. If interested, talk to me or read the book. 

Fantastic book. Absoltutely mind blowing. Stephen Covey has done an outstanding job and I personally plan to use his teachings in my daily life. Must read. IF ANYBODY IS INTERESTED IN DISCUSSING THIS BOOK WITH ME SEND ME AN EMAIL !!


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